Dearly Beloved

(An open letter to all I love and all I ever shall.)

You may not know I love you, and that’s okay; the important thing is that I act out of love, not that I be recognized for it. You may know I love you and not like it, and that’s okay; I don’t love you with the expectation that you love me in return, and since my love makes no demands, it does no harm. You may know and be glad that I love you, and that’s great; it’s a pleasure to be the cause of gladness in another. You may know I love you and may also love me, and that’s awesome; love requited is a blessing. No matter what, I love you.

I don’t love you because of what you do, have done, or might do for me. I don’t love you so you’ll love me back. I don’t love you and expect anything in return; my love is not a commodity to be bargained with, but rather it’s a gift, freely given with no strings attached.

I love you because I am a lover. I love you because my heart could not help itself (and I don’t know and don’t really care why). I love you recklessly, I love you passionately, I love you steadfastly… I just love you.

Because I love you, I hope for what’s best for you, in your judgment, and it’s not my place to tell you what’s best for you. Sometimes that means separation or even estrangement; it never means I love you less. I am on your side, even if I’m not at your side.

I don’t put my hopes for our relationship (whatever it may be) ahead of your well-being or your desires. If your desires (or mine) cause our paths to diverge, I’ll be sad, but I won’t be mad. I would never want my love to bind you to earth when you are meant to fly. Rather, I want my love to be steady, rising air that lifts you up even if it also carries you away.

It may also be that I choose to separate myself from you. Perhaps our lives or lifestyles aren’t compatible, or maybe our values clash. Maybe too close an association feels stifling or painful or harmful. If I choose to separate myself from you, it doesn’t change my love for you; it simply means that I love myself, too.

I freely offer to serve you—to serve your interests, to do good on your behalf—with the following qualifications:

• I will not support actions that risk significant harm to you, others, or myself
• I will not act in ways contrary to my own values or nature
• I will not serve spite
I will not act unlovingly

I am imperfect, so my expression of love is likewise imperfect. I promise to strive always for excellence and improvement in love, and commit to learn the lessons the Universe offers when my practice of love falls short.

This is how I hope to love in all loving relationships: collegial, filial, familial, romantic. This is my manifesto.

Aloha,

David