What Grows

In any high-pressure situation—from a kindergarten classroom through a community theatre production to an international crisis—tension is sometimes high and tempers short. This is normal and we survive, although in the (unpleasant) moment, we may wonder.

Every experience contains both pleasant (even pleasurable) and unpleasant (even painful) moments. It’s normal to be frustrated, hurt or angry when things go “badly,” and to be happy and pleased when things go “well.” Where we get into trouble is when present experience passes into memory: memory is not a perfect record of experience; rather, memory is a perfect record of how we think and feel about our experience, and we have a choice—a choice we make in the moment and remake every time we recall a memory.

You see, our memories are cast and recast by our choices: our attitudes, our attention, our focus. If we focus on the “bad” and how it made us feel and we choose a self-righteous or defensive or offensive attitude, our memories take on the tone and tenor of that attitude, and every time we recall that memory to mind, we will reinforce the negative and push the positive further into the background. If instead we focus on the “good” and how it made us feel and choose an upbeat, optimistic, accepting attitude, our memories take on the bright hues of that attitude. Either way, our attention shapes our memories to fit our chosen attitudes.

Attention is to memory (and experience) as sunlight is to plants; a necessity and a nutrient. We can choose to shine the light of our focus on the weeds of negativity or the fruits and vegetables and glorious flowers of positivity, and whatever we focus on will grow and grow.

What are you growing in the garden of memory?